Mar 19, 2012
The unthinkable has happened: the sweater vest has returned. Now, I emptied my closet of sweater vests with my farewell to Chandler Bing after the Friends finale. But like fedoras, and Superman reboots, the past is the future. The sweater vest has returned, personified by the latest last-hope of the conservative wing of the GOP, Rick Santorum.
Now I’ve long since lost count the number candidates touted as the savior of the conservative movement. From the McCarthyist Michelle Bachmann, to the idiot-savant Ricky Perry, from the blast from the past Newt Gingrich, to the sweater vest toting, contraception hating, god-fearing Rick Santorum, the Republican primary race has had so many characters emerge that you’d think it had changed its name to Unicode.
But Santorum, with that Thomas the Train perseverance, has hung in the race despite being outspent by Romney 4-1. I’ll give him credit, for a guy who’s name on Google yielded “The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.”, he’s done quite well. Its in this spirit, that I endorse Rick Santorum as my choice for the Republican party nomination.
Before you ask, no, I have not had a Christian awakening.
My thinking is simple, if Santorum does win the GOP nomination, then we shall bear witness to the greatest electoral ass-kicking since Ronald Reagan released the kraken upon Walter Mondale in 1984.
But wait, there is more. The GOP is a party divided, being pulled to the hard-right by the tea-party movement, alienating women, minorities, and pretty much any non Christian male. As far-fetched as it sounds, the U.S. is ripe for 3-party system. A center-right party, if it could rid itself of culture warriors, would appeal to moderate Republicans and Democrats (anybody remember Reagan Democrats?). Heck, I could vote for one of them too!
So here’s hoping the sweater vest pulls it through. If you live in a open-primary state, its high-time you stepped up, served your country and slapped on that Rick Santorum bumper sticker.