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Is there anything Hollywood won’t reboot?

Is there anything Hollywood won’t reboot?

Jul 16, 2012

Its the age of the franchise in Hollywood, and the masters of the left coast pull no punches when it comes to reaching into the dustbin of movie history, pulling out some Sylvester Stallone turd, slathering a little IMAX/3D margarine atop and creating their newest $100 million franchise.

Its bad enough that Spiderman has already been rebooted just 10 years after it first booted up,  and its mildly annoying to think that in 3 years we will have a newer, darker Batman reboot titillating our summer appetites (probably with a focus on Robin and his struggle to shed his trapeze and break into the vigilante world), but I’m floored that somebody actually decided to remake Judge Dredd! Was Sylvester Stallone’s judicial fist provide that engrossing of a tale that it needed to be re-told? In that case, when can we expect Cliffhanger 2?

But wait, its gets even better, take a look at some of what is yet to come in 2012:

The Expendables 2

Total Recall,

the Bourne Legacy,

Taken 2 (wtf, did his daughter get kidnapped again? Is her name Kim Bauer?!),

Paranormal Activity 4,

This is 40 (aka Knocked Up 2)

Franchises are the new cash crop of the entertainment industry. Disney has completely reorganized into a vehicle to take franchises like ‘Cars’, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and ‘Toy Story’ across movies, music, TV, and theme parks.  Maybe my memory of the Bill Clinton years is a bit rose-colored, but I don’t think sequels were such a menace back in the 90s? Sure we had Home Alone 2, and Father of the Bride 2, but generally it seemed like the endless trilogy was still a bit of a taboo (and who can hate Steve Martin’s lovable oaf who finally exposed the great hot dog / hot dog bun conspiracy?). The Ayn Rand in me doesn’t blame producers or studio execs who finance these films, let them

Iron Eagle III: When Chappy gets lucky

suckle upon the sweet cash teets of the movie franchise for as long as they flow. If anyone is to blame for the recycled turds thrust upon us as entertainment, its us.

How far can it go? How many sequels/reboots can possibly be in store? Well, since we have yet to be graced by Battlefield Earth 2, the New Adventures of Pluto Nash, and Iron Eagle V, I think this rabbit hole has a long way to go. I won’t lie, I would be mildly entertained if LouisGosset Jr dragged his old ass out of the gutter and back into the cockpit for another spin as Chappy. Until that glorious cinematic release, I guess I will have to make do with Top Gun 2.

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